Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I'm back

Really I've been back since Monday however its been so busy getting back into the swing of things at work I just haven't had time to write.

Seattle did not happen. :( I sadly didn't get to go. I got freakin Swine Flu. Damn the luck. I was upset to say the least. When I left work early on Saturday it was merely because I was feeling weak, I thought for sure it was because of all the overtime I had worked. Nope sure enough I got home mom stuck the thermometer in my mouth and 101.8. FABULOUS! I was positive though, rest and take medicine, surely I would be better by Tuesday when I had to get on a plane. Sunday rolled around and still running a fever and I had coughed so much my chest felt it would lurch out of me in addition to severely aggravating my throat causing me to sound like a frog. Monday was the last straw I needed something fast, so I went to the doctor. She made me do a breathing treatment while she tested me for H1N1. I prayed to God, "Please don't let me have Swine Flu." My mother who is my doctor's nurse came in to tell me I had H1N1. I fought back tears as Dr. Tammie told me if I didn't run a fever between the doc visit and boarding the plane, I could go. I think she said this to humor me because she knew I was gonna still feel to crappy to go. By Monday night I still felt so crummy I knew there was no way I was getting on a plane and then I spiked a fever anyways . . . still contagious. :( I called Lauren who was so utterly awesome about the whole thing, it only made me feel worse. I cried hysterically, I really really needed to see my bestie. I remained sick the whole rest of the week, not feeling better until Friday. I was kind of glad though I would've been furious with myself if I felt better Wednesday and would've been fine to go after all but no I felt like poop.

Needless to say this has dwindled down my PTO hrs. I have an additional occurrence and I am so far off my from my goal that it makes me sick. I refuse to step on a scale. This whole yr has been wretched when it comes to fulfilling my goals. 2009 sucked to say the least. I have high high hopes for next yr though. I am saving money for my wedding. I know I know no ring yet, but Justin and I have talked and provided life throws no curve balls that whole engagement thing should happen this yr. And me being the person I am needing to have control of some kind, will start saving money and working out with the idea that I will be planning a wedding sooner than later.

Saturday I will start working out again. And it will be a horrible battle because of this horrible holiday season that is upon us. But fight I will.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


Everyone! How I have missed you. I am legs weak, dark cirlces under the eyes, yawning every 5 seconds tired! This business of training and doing over time is killing me. When you work that much, at least for me, its hard to want to do anything anything else but go home and sleep. Today for instance do you think that I am at all interested in going to try and burn calories even though I know for a fact that I should. That whole ten pounds by the time I leave for Seattle . . . yea so not happening. Finding it hard to care though. Same think about my 5k, man I feel like I am failing big time over here. I am mad because I have been more active the last few months than I've been in years and hardly a result. Yes the clothes did seem to be fitting better, but I am pretty sure I F-ed that up this weekend with my extra curricular events. Why does everything have to be surrounded by food and WHY does bad food have to taste so good. Its like that lean cuisine today, it didn't make me feel lean it made me feel less full. I know its just this over tired funk I am in and then I will get over it. So I will go work out and I will go eat with my co-worker and then I will have a day off tomorrow. My mom is sick so we may or may not be going through with our plans to go watch theatre with my uncle and the kids but it wouldn't be the worst thing to just chill. I hope all is well with everyone. Some of you need to let me know how life is.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Well guys . . .

I will most likely be out of touch some in the next few weeks. I will be training a new person at work and that will leave me little time to write while at work. So unless I pry myself off the couch and to the computer at home I won't be writing much. I probably will though, because I want to read what ya'll have out there. The running will be commencing full force next week, I felt so good last week working out 5 times! Thats huge for me. I will do the same if not more next week. Please God please let me get on that scale tomorrow and be happy. Lol.

Have a good week people, show your thanks to those around you for making your life better. I have the tendancy to be kind of negative about things and I am gonna do my best not to do that. In fact I am gonna make it a goal to be a cheerleader for others namely my bf. He does such a good job of lifting me up when I am down, even when I don't want him to. Sometimes you want to be left down in the dumps ya know. Maybe you don't know, if you don't you're probably one of those happy positive people. But yea he has been down lately, not to happy about the job etc so I am gonna do my best to be really positive and light in his presence this week. If you know me, you know thats difficult, I almost need drugs for such a thing but we sure will try.
I'm really thankful these last few weeks, I think I have developed what will be a really awesome friendship and these days that seems kind of rare. I am good at losing friends but making them these days is hard. So yay!

Fun song of the week for Maria: Fireflies by Owl City. It makes me smile to think of fireflies hugging me.

Have a good week bloggers!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Chapter 1 or Introduction?

Tell me what you think guys this is the plans for a new book. I have ceased work on the old book for now. This seems more promising, I would love love some feedback.

A rusy boxcar sat on a lonely unused track, sounds of nature were handicapped by the thundering roar of a nearby train barrelling over the joints of its steel pathway. The boxcar seemed dead and lifeless in the Kansas dusk but inside life breathed for the first time. A father and two little girls witnessed their mother give birth to a frail brown baby.

Born in an abandoned boxcar on a beautiful March evening in Kansas City. Felicitas DelaCruz was the third daughter Eduardo and Teresa, mexican immigrants seeking a new life in the United States. With the violence brewing in Mexico under the influence of Pancho Villa's rebellion.

Felicitas cried as babies do when brought into this world. Her brown skin glowing red with each exhaled scream. Teresa would never hear her daughter's cry for she was deaf but she looked on the tiny life with love, holding tight to the creation that god had bestowed upon her and she smiled. She didn't need to hear the cries to know this baby though rather petite would be a strong woman in this country.

Now that I've written it I am unsure how it sounds. Needs work. But feedback nonetheless is good.

Are Men Happier than Women?

There have been a few research studies that have found women start out their lives more happier than men however after about age 48 we become unhappier. Whats that about?
Well here's a funny list compiled at thought I would share. But seriously ladies what is up with that?

Why Men Are Happier Than Women
1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public.
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

Jillian Michaels is a B!

I had this morning off from work. Covering the evening shift in this joint. So with my morning I decided I should work out since I hadn't on Wednesday. It was misty and rainy outside so that wasn't appealing and since I was at Justin's and he still hasn't gotten me the code to his gym I decided to use the fabuloud On Demand feature on his new cable DVR thingy. There is a whole on demand channel that is devoted to exercise and I selected the one by Jillian Michaels. Now if you don't know Jillian is one of the trainers on the Biggest Loser. Tuesday TV sucks so I have watched the past 3 episodes of Biggest Loser. Talk about motivation to lose weight. Damn. But yea she is a bull dog she is evil on the show and shows no mercy. Well she is slightly nicer in her work out but she still shows no mercy. My thighs are still burning. I highly reccomend her. She is evil!

I bought paint today! My littlest brother and his best friend had lunch with me today. Let me begin with we went to Chuy's a restaurant I have been very excited about. The opened one in Plano this summer. The reason I was excited . . . Stuffed Avacados. I've tried to get in to eat there before and it was just soooo packed. So ok today was the day. Except they were OUT OF AVACADOS. That is some BS let me tell you. My brother was like we can go somewhere else. But I decided to not be high maintenance today, he lets me get away with that . . . he is the only one in my life who will but today I chose to go with it. Flautas are definitely not as good!
Back to paint. So upon my brother's advice and he truly could be Martha Stewart, he is straight I swear. Anyways he said for us to go to Home Depot and check out the oops paint. Goood idea, found the color I wanted and for $15 I got 5 gallons. So I can paint the walls and the little office area in the room. I will see how much I can get done before I have to be at work tomorrow. Challenging myself to finish this by Sunday night so I can move my bed and whatever else I need in there. I miss my stuff!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Oh my achy abs

For heavens sake! 100 sit ups and 2 days later I am still in agony. And I have to do more today. Notice I use the word HAVE to. Gave the treadmill some more love yesterday. Made me happy. Its just so much less painfull than running on the dang track or outside. I guess I may have to re-think my 5k, though I really don't want to. I am just gonna keep pressing on and see what the results are. I haven't lost my motivation at least. Diet is still going strong as well, little hindrances here and there but nothing major. They got a new scale at the gym and it confirms I have lost weight. For real! Woo hoo. That scale is my friend again.

The creative juices are flowing again, its just hard to make the time to sit and write. I feel guilt when I am at home too, when I am at my parents I feel like I should be doing something. Helping clean or feed an animal. When I am Justin's I feel like I should be spending time with him not on my lap top. Man I miss my own place. Doesn't look like I will have it anytime soon again though. But I am about to do a major room make over on my brother's old room. Its gonna take time though before I have that sanctuary. That kid was such a messy individual. It was not fun to clean out his room. Mom helped. Anyways we haven't tackled the closet either . . . that should be fun. I wish I had a weekend to just garage sale hunt.

Looking for a full size box spring. Then I will be after a plain white poofy bedspread. I look forward to it. Its gonna be so light and airy and beachy and my mother can have whoever she wants live in there after me and it won't be too boy-ish or too girlish, just clean! Any home improvement ideas would be great!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Treadmill Love!

Yesterday I decided to run on the treadmill instead of the track. It was pretty dang enjoyable I must say. I was able to keep up with how long I was running, calories burned and mileage ran. This isn't going to do me any good with running in the 5k I don't think. But my foot didn't hurt, my knees didn't hurt, I didn't think about the fact that I was running as much because I had the television in front of me. I keep thinking that maybe if I can just get my endurance up a bit and lose some weight, running on the track will be easier. I don't know. I am going to run on the treadmill again today, I can't help but want to. Perhaps if I alternate the two. I also decided to run everyday the best I can becausefor the whole weight loss factor you are supposed to do 45-1hr of cardio most days of the week for weight loss. I have lost weight, its just now I have a goal of ten pounds by the 27th. Thats when I leave for Seattle. I would love for Lauren to see me and say I look like I've lost weight, seeing as how she hasn't seen me since August.

She said I will gain it all back when I am there. I told her she is just going to have to keep the rain at bay so I can run in Seattle or Redmond, which ever one. She is living in Redmond now, she got her own place so I don't have to get a hotel while I am there which is super awesome. All I can think about is Seattle. I will be so sad when I don't have that to look forward to. My last bit of fun before ALL money goes to bills and student loans.

P.S. I have eaten pretty dang good for about 2 weeks and all I want is bad stuff right now. All bad. I will have to give in at some point the important question is with what shall I cheat with?

Friday, October 2, 2009

Constitutions of plus size

I stumbled upon an article today about some plus-sized models and with it there was a photo of a group of them in the buff posing. Now being a bigger girl most of my life and by big, I don't mean heafty. Obviously we all know I could stand to lose like 20 or 30 back off! I have curves okay and for the most part I've always been pretty happy about them. This last year not so much as this last yr has been dentrimental in many ways to my psyche. Anywho this is just cool to me. The fact that this is a picture in a magazine, I have been a fan of Dove commercials since they started airing and this picture is such a statement. Every woman has imperfections and its our imperfections that make us unique. I am happy that the cookie cutter mold model isn't the norm anymore. I would be rather interested in polling some men and seeing what they thought of this picture. These women and beautiful, they eat, they exercise but they aren't stick thin. They have made careers out of being proud of their curves and making society pay attention. Kudos ladies. Kudos.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Check out my friends blog!

Just trying to generate some readership for my friend's new blog. She is really trying to get some business so

If its not thing its another!

So now I am battling a sinus infection. Not cool. Kind of hard to breathe while running . . . WHEN YOU CAN'T BREATHE! I am getting so worried about not meeting my goal. I think I am gonna step it up from running every other day to everyday. Even if its an abridged version of the plan. Like run the plan one day and then just do what I can the next. I am mad at myself that I am all the way 2 months into this and technically on week 3 of the plan.

On the bright side. Still doing pretty good on the diet. I am noticing a difference. There is this lower tummy fold going away and I am pretty thrilled. The scale is still missing in action so who knows if this is real progress or if I am just making stuff up in my head.

Anyways I am pretty excited about a few things. I started my children's book yesterday. A whole lot harder than I thought. Then I have to think once I am finished what do I do about illustrations, does the publishing company handle that or what. I have been consulting my Writer's Market Handbook and not run into anything useful yet, probably need to look at it a little more in depth when I am not at work.

Also I have set up a professional blog. So far all that is on it is my past articles from the NT Daily. A digital portfolio if you will. Its through wordpress though. A little harder to operate for sure. I also have a creative writing blog through there that some randomly written posts exist. Nothing major just there for whatever reason.

I set a profile with linkedln also and some other networking sites. Great News! I may be getting some free- lance work coming in. And I have to generate some story ideas so that maybe I can get them written and into the paper, some paper any paper.

Thats enough for now. Thanks!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Feeling better

So in the last post I said I was kind of unmotivated, not really feeling like running anymore. This week I slacked big time on working out, however I did really good on the diet. Between my back and my feet its difficult to want to go bounce my body around but I'm gonna. Last night I went grocery shopping with my mom and convinced her to buy everything I wanted. So basically my family is doing this with me, the eating part at least. Good stuff. Trying to eat small 5 meals a day isn't as hard as you would think, but I have to plan it out ahead of time and that part isn't so easy.

Today I will go work out. Still not feeling the running thing, mostly because of the fear of foot pain. I did buy some new orthotics. Not sure how great they're gonna be though. We shall see. But there is this thing at Wal-mart now, in the pharmacy where you step up on a machine and it will measure where you put pressure down with your feet, determining what type of supports you need. They're $50 though so gonna have to hold off but I did find out what kind I needed. Makes me sad because I feel sorry for my feet, its not their fault. Ah well try try til we find something that will help. So I will run the best I can today.

So far I've had oatmeal for breakfast then I will have banana for mid morning snack followed by 1/2 a tuna sandwich for lunch and a yogurt before I leave work. I am excited again. I guess I just was having one of those weeks and I wasn't feeling all that well so. The scale is missing from its normal place at my parents and so I have no idea if my good eating did any good last week but maybe its for the better that I don't know.

Been agonizing over this necklace I've been working on forever now. Its sad that I only find time to work on it when I am at work on the weekends. I had one plan going and then it just turned out bad, so now plan B hopefully this time it works out time. Expensive little necklace it will be once I am finished but oh so beautiful I hope.

Monday, September 21, 2009

I don't want to run anymore

So today I officially started THE DIET. Justin and I are doing it together. Lots of salads and lots of chicken and fiber.

This morning I had oatmeal followed by grapes for a mid-morning snack then a salad with chicken, nuts, carrots and feta cheese. I will have string cheese before I go work out.

Working out. Ugh so not in the mood today. I have a blistering headache and yesterday I was so sore from god knows what I was unable to run. Friday I ran and it was painful. I managed to make it through the first set and then the second 3 min set killed me. I made it 2 min before my foot felt like it was gonna break. So I walked for 2 minutes and then ran one last minute. I decided the only way this was going to keep happening was if I remedied the foot pain. So I went out and bought some brand new orthotics meant for those who over pronate, which is what I do. I put them in my shoes and I can tell a slight difference but not much so I suppose we shall see when I go to run today.

I am not in the mood to run. I have a headache and am still sore. But if I don't I will regret it later. Today just running though, none of this Zumba stuff so maybe I can be a bum this evening after I prepare dinner. Many new shows start tonight. Yay!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Okay guys I am gonna push through today. Gonna bump it up to the next level. I am a little scared but looking at it and I think its feasible. I can look forward to a good sleep tonight in light of it. Still needing some better shoes. Perhaps I will try wrapping my foot before I run. One gives me more pain than the other so it might be helpful. Swore off the soda hardcore for the remainder of my couch to 5K training. I have been consuming it like crazy because I have been displaced from my home and haven't got my normal stuff. Typically I will stick with diet also but the machine at work hasn't been taking my quarters or dollars and the other machine doesn't have diet soda of any kind. So! It has only made this business of drinking REAL Dr.Pepper easier.

This week has been good so far at work. But I guess after having that time off its been more tiresome than normal.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Back to 5k

So I don't feel like I got so far off track with my running to repeat any of it. Maybe thats a wrong move. We'll find out though.

Yesterday for kicks I just ran week two's regimine over again. I did okay. I kept up better than I thought. My legs are so sore, and I followed with Zumba also so I am sure that helped the burn. Definitely helped get rid of some stress. I went to Justin's afterward got dinner started and some laundry going and drank an entire bottle of wine. Mmmm I slept pretty good last night but I slept wrong and now my shoulder and neck hurt. Doesn't make checking for blind spots when you are driving very easy.

Justin did get that job. Woo hoo he has been getting home late and so its odd to go to his place and him not be there. For a year he has been there dinner made and all that. Man I was spoiled wasn't I? Now I am back to making Maria dinners which are not nearly as good as his. But I guess its my turn to practice. This whole experience has been pretty cool. I met Justin when he had a job and he was a workaholic and that did him and us no good then he got let go and so he was a jobless bum for like a yr. Which was cool because we missed so much time together in the beginning of our relationship because of work that we made up for it. Now he is back at work and it seems like his mood hasn't changed much, still real happy and postitive a little more tired and way more communicative than he was before. Calling me at lunch and talking, updating me on when he is getting off, a random text here or there. I am not a needy person by any means but its nice to see that he has learned from the past yr and a half. All work and no play leads you no where, got to keep a good balance.

I will not be running or working out at all tonight. I have a lovely video chat date with my two besties. E-mailed back like good little eager applicant for that job I really want so hopefully I will hear back on that.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Pictures if you would like to see. . .

I'm Baaaack!

I have been hesitating getting on here and writing because there is just so much to say and I really don't want to to go overboard so here is my attempt at limited vacation updates.

Things I did on the cruise:
1. Ate a billion pounds of food (including 2 lobster tails for dinner one night not ashamed of it either).
2. Slept on the deck by the pool with nothing but endless ocean all around me.
3. Witnessed and babysat my mother as she accidentally got drunk in Progresso, getting her back on the bus and walking back to the ship was hilarious.
4. Rapelled off of a wall, zip lined.
5. Snorkelled . . . first time in my life and will NOT be the last!
6. Drank Sprite from a glass bottle in Cozumel.
7. Bought 2 bottles of Absolut Vodka for $20, I love liquor prices in Mexico.
8. Ate a billion more pounds of food.
9. Tried a bloody mary and like it.
10. Tried a manhattan and didn't like it at all.
11. Danced to 70's music with my mama
12. Made friends with cute Mexican tour guide named Mario and am now friends with him on facebook, thinking how cute our names would be together Maria and Mario. (Still love my boyfriend I swear!)
13. Watched people sing karoke as the homosexual make-up-wearing-asian host made racial induced jokes that made all the drunk people laugh.
14. Relaxed in a hot tub
15. Relaxed in the room in soft robes
16. Entertained by the nightly towel animals that were sitting on my bed.
17. Acutally ran one time, but I did it on the treadmill because it was raining on the track and realized I am a fan of running on the treadmill.
18. Gained my 5 pounds back, but I really don't feel bad about because I know I will go back to running and eating better than I was before and I will lose it again. Not to mention I ate the best food ever!

That is all I can think of presently. Man I did a lot in 5 days. I am officially addicted to cruises and will be taking one again in the Spring if I can manage to save the funds.

Thursday, September 3, 2009


I did it! I made it through Day two of week two. Some laps seem easier than the others so I don't really know its it easier over all, but considering its progress I will not complain. Also a positive thing; my shins didn't hurt. Yay. Maybe the one full day of rest that I got did me some good. Tuesday I din't do anything but go home and bathe puppies. All 10 of them.

So yes I ran and yes according to the scale I am still 5 pounds lost . . . yay! My butt muscles hurt still but I guess I am firming and tightening? Today the thighs also hurt, thats new.
I am still feeling that sense of accomplishment. In fact I ran 95 seconds every 2 minutes. I was real tempted to see how far I could go but decided not to jump ahead of myself, just stick to the prgram. I will run tomorrow and then I will start week 3 on the cruise ship. I bet people might question wether or not I will really run on the cruise ship, I am placing bets on myself. I've come so far though for me and I don't want to back slide at all.

I applied for my dream job today. Omg the fact that it even existed makes me so excited. I would be using that degree, it offers phenomenal money and its in Seattle. I know everyone is giving me a hard time because I keep looking in Seattle. But I want to leave Texas and I see no reason not to look at a place where I have a friend already there. The boyfriend says he will follow me anywhere too. He he we'll see about that one. But this would be a great opportunity for me. And I got mom and grandma's gave me their blessing on leaving Texas and finding my own way and that makes me feel better about job hunting out of state.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


So I completed my second week of the first week of the Couch to 5k on Saturday. Still tough but not as bad for sure, I ran outside too so I was pretty pleased. The thing I like running about outside is I have more of a visual of exactly how far I ran in comparison to the last time I did the same route. Like this time I made it further in 30 min.

BUT LAST NIGHT . . . I went to the next level people. The second week of this plan is to run for 90 seconds and walk for 2 minutes. You don't really realize how long 90 seconds is until you have to run for 90 seconds. So there I am running and trying not think about the ankles hurting and the shins hurting and thinking I really deserve those new shoes sooner than November.

I've been really bad bout eating right, like the last three nights no joke I have had Pizza. What the hell is wrong with me? Oh never mind I know. Anyways still however I have managed to lose about 5 lbs in two weeks, according to my scale at home. I don't like the scale at the gym. It never changes, I think its broken.

Today won't be much better eating wise. But I'll keep working out anyways.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

C25K Day 2 Part II

I did my second day of C25K Thursday. I went late in the evening which was different and I ran outside where my parents live and I took one of the dogs. Now my parents live in the country ass country but there are these random housing developments, or what they want to be housing developments smack dab in the middle of fields. You'll be driving along and there are houses and then fields and then houses and then HOUSING DEVELOPMENT. Well there are developments but no houses yet, so its just all paved streets. So I took Rocky, who is one of our 4 Labs. Now this country dog doesn't do leashes unless he is going to the vet, but all things considered he did quite well. We walked and ran, he did way better when I was running. Made me jealous though because when I was running he was just doing a fast trot, its cause he has two more legs than I do. I was really proud of him and pretty proud of myself also. Either I wasn't paying attention to how tired I was because I was concentrating on Rocky or I just really did that much better. It was getting pretty dark so we headed back a little early because Rocky was scared that a chainsaw masacre guy would come out of the woods.
My monthly friend is almost here I can tell and I feel so sluggish and I most definitely DO NOT want to run today. But its a must. Today is the last day of Part II of C25K. Moving on up to the next level Monday. My appetite was non-existent yesterday. Even when Mom and I went to get CHEESE FRIES from Snuffers. If you know me, you know thats like a huge comfort food that I can't turn down, but I didn't eat as much as I normally do, in fact not much at all. This morning I had a PB and J sandwich but not becasue I was hungry, I just needed something to stay with and put in my stomach so I could take my medicine. I brought a pack 90 calorie rice cakes and a banana.
This could just be me, but I went shopping Friday for some clothes for the cruise. You know things I was missing in the wardrobe since I wear scrubs to work most of the time. Everything look good on me. I told my friend that I know I look the same. I mean I've lost 3 pounds at this point, nothing to write home about but its like confidence level just goes up and all of a sudden you look and the mirror and it "seems" like your hips are less wide and the belly flap is smaller and maybe just maybe you're shoulders are less football like. Who knows if anyone else notices but you think you do and thats good enough.
I leave for my cruise in a week and I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I WILL gain back what i've lost so far and that its going to be okay because I AM going to run on the ship. I have to at least do that. There is an outdoor track on the top of the boat, so if I don't I have no one to blame but myself. But thats not going to happen.
I was so close to buying me some orthotics for my shoes at Sports Authority yesterday, but they were $25 and I just spent $60 on clothes and couldn't bring myself to do it. In that $60 spent though I did get a new outfit to workout in, I look cute in it and it makes me feel like a real runner.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Basic is Not Basic . . .its Hard!

Yesterday I went to the gym and did some ab work and some weights and then I went to YOGA, it was the Yoga Basics class. Um Yoga Basics isn't so basic, its freakin hard. It was harder than Iyengar, but I still enjoyed it, you need some strength to do Yoga and I have none. But I WILL develop some if it kills me. I am just happy I did it again. This morning waking up at 4:15 am was a killer. I couldn't sleep to save my life last night. Probably because I was worried about the boy not sleeping in 2 days, I know he is nervous about his HR meeting but all the more reason TO sleep. Poor guy.
I was really bad already this morning and its only 7:30 a.m. I rode to work with a co-worker and we got to D town early so we stopped for breakfast at McDonalds. I hate McDonalds but you know what I got? A horrible Big Breakfast! It filled the tummy for sure I thought it was gonna make me sick because I am not used to eating that early but so far so good. And there is coffee involved. Bad bad Maria. I should drink more water today.
Thats really all . . . C25K Day 2 Part II today!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


So I started C25K over again this week. Ran inside however because it was dreadfully humid and I wasn't gonna do it dang it. It would be one thing if I could run late in the evening or early in the morning so until it cools a bit I may stick with track running. I did pretty good considering I hadn't ran in three days. Really proud in fact when I think about it. However really gonna have break down and get something good for the feet, they hurt too badly when I run. I also really need to get some strength training in there also. Does yoga count? I am going to yoga basics today, thought that might be a good idea, since I won't be able to make it to the one I did last week. Its offerred on Thursdays and I work every other Thurs so messes with me a bit. I could go to the Tuesday Iyengar yoga but its a guy teaching and I don't know how comfortable I am with a strange man helping further stretch my legs. Unless he is hot hmmm maybe I should check that part out.

For food today I've had a banana, an orange and 2 string cheeses oh and an iced coffee from McDonalds (that a co-worker surprised me with dang it not my fault but it was sooo good). Lunch will be some mexican rice I made last night and some refried beans. The breakfast, lunch and dinner of a poor mexican. Without tortillas its even poorer. I'm excited about it though. For dinner the boy is making me tacos, its Mexican Fiesta Day! The boy may really and actually be employed after tomorrow, he meets with HR. Please God oh please!

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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Its a Bright Sun Shiny Day . . .

Or least that's what I am gonna keep saying to myself until I believe it. Cleaned up the apartment yesterday. It was hard work so after it was all said and done I didn't feel as bad about not running. I did however feel bad about the stupid Whataburger meal I had. But I was at the apartment and there was no food. I mean sure I could've grabbed a fast food salad or a healthier choice of some sort but I already had to clean the apartment by myself!
Today I will be back on track. I am repeating week 1 of the C25K this week because I feel I need to start over. Everything should be better this week since I have all my stuff moved home.

Side NOTE: Can I just say I love my family, all of them. However they're nuts, they are completely crazy. My mother who is my best friend is like the queen of crazy. Not toward me but the men in my family better watchout. So after spending the whole weekend at home with them, being at the boyfriends apt for just a few hours before passing out last night was like a vacation. He can drive me nuts sometimes too, but nothing like the brothers and dad and sometimes even mom.

Anyways since I am all moved home and I don't have a room to settle I have nothing to do. I mean little things but nothing major. Besides yell at the Cable company, that should be fun. So I should not falter in the running department this week. I'm still pretty proud of myself for doing it all 3 days last week I lost 2 lbs according to the scale. I don't really trust those things but I check anyway.

I don't even know what I am typing anymore I have taken so many breaks. So yea running today followed by hopefully some yoga. Not really sure about that. I know its good for your back but I am in some major pain today in my lower back and not sure if I can do some of the stretches. Who knows we'll see how I feel after running.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Very Frustrated

First I will begin with my third running session of last week. It kicked my butt. I ran outside first off, I have been running on an indoor track, a beautiful wonderful indoor airconditioned track that is all level. Well running outside is way different and way harder. I didn't quit though, I was surprised at how far I went. I was really tired and hot! So with the up hill and down hill etc I decided I should probably do week one over and do 2 out of the 3 outside. Man running outside kills the bottoms of my feet, killlllls them. So yes gonna do week one over. I wanted to run yesterday but this weekend has got me so tired and messed up. Every second of both Saturday and Sunday were taken up, it was horrible!. So needless to say by the time I had finished moving the rest of my stuff home and going to dinner and shopping with mother and grandmother for grandmother's birthday and then mom having to stop at Walmart, which is never a quick trip, it was 10 at night. I would've totally gone except since my departure to college my parents have moved to the country and at 10 o'clock at night it is very dark and not even the feirce grown of my friendly chocolate lab makes me feel safe. So you would think no big deal I'll work out today . . . wrong I have to rush to my apartment because it has to be cleaned so they can do a final walk through before we turn in our keys . . . ridiculous! I hope cleaning won't take long and I go to the park and run before going to Justin's. Maybe I will run in his neighborhood, its well lit. I am annoyed with all this moving stuff and just want it to be over with so it will stop interfering with my life. Doesn't help when there isn't really a difinitive place for your stuff at your parents also, makes you feel a little out of place. I guess I will be putting everything in storage containers in an effort to keep my stuff protected until I move out. Moving out may come sooner than I thought too. One of my besties and I may be getting a place in January, we have to discuss it a little more but its looking possible. That makes me very happy and excited. Its not moving out of state but lets face it the only way thats happening is if I get offered mucho money. So if I have to be here then I should live with someone I love and get along with right? They say not to move in with your besties but I think we'll be okay, we both have boyfriends and family to keep us busy not to mention work. Now if only I could find a way to legally make money without working.

Items on the menu today include rice cakes, orange, yogurt, pb and j and string cheese. Don't know whats for dinner just yet.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Downward Facing Dog?!!!

It could be an erotic sex position it sounds so funny. I went to Iyengar Yoga yesterday. Iyengar Yoga was created by B.K.S Iyengar, its known for its use of props, such as belts and blocks, as aids in performing asanas (postures). Still sounds erotic to me. Trust me however totally not as enjoyable, it was still rewarding, I felt at the end. I was super intimidated when I first walked in but the teacher was welcoming, helped me with all the poses, I was the newby in class last night. Everyone in the class was really nice and joked and it felt close knit. Suprisingly not sore today, though I stretched parts of my body, I didn't know could be stretched. They had me pratically doing the splits. WTF? After it was all done though, I felt so good. My back felt a lot better and it was definitely worth the minor embarassment. Its amazing how the teacher could just tell from my ability that I have a lot of lower back pain. I told her how my doctor had been preaching this to me for years and I finally decided to do it, she said it would help with my back for sure. Justin needless to say is very happy I am doing it and it makes me want to buy yoga gear. I won't just yet though. Going back Tuesday. Gots to do my C25K today. Day 3 of week 1. Not dreading it at all probably because I know afterwards I get a present and Sushi! Having dinner with one of Besties and she is bringing me a gift from my other Bestie . . . yay! I did however forget my sports bra so instead of working out at my wonderful air-conditioned gym I am gonna go to Justin's where some of my clothes exist and run outside. Blech! But I guess I should get used to it since I am gonna do a 5K, maybe the extra sweat will do me good.

P.S. Boyfriend made fabulous dinner last night! Taco Pie . . . he did so good. It might be a new favorite of mine. Yay!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

My Boyfriend Discovered He's a Girl

Not literally . . . but he's discovered something I have known for many many months now. Now mind you he has been out of a job so it does leave him to do more domesticated things, but he loves sports video games and boobs I swear. He loves sports for reeeeal, like even golf which I think is freakishly boring. He doesn't count boxing as a sport which kind of angers me because thats like my favorite sport.
Now on to why he is a girl. I'm a girl too by the way but he is way more cliche chick than I am. Case in point he makes dinner last night after agonizing over whether or not it would turn out okay. Which he put cheese in it how could it not turn out? I'm a firm believer that melted cheese on anything makes it better. So dinner turns out great. I tell him its good, I eat it quietly. Sure sign that its good right? Well he proceeds to boast, "Isn't this good." "It turned out so well, I'm so happy." I agreed and finished my meal. We proceed to watch the movie he rented, Ferris Buhler's Day Off, ever since John Hughes died he feels its his mission to expose me to every movie he ever made, fine and dandy with me. Now its bedtime, he doesn't go to bed at the same time I do but he comes and lays down with me and chats a bit til I am good and ready to sleep. He begins talking about his feelings on different topics, not intimate topics just movies, music and such. I nod and smile, nod and smile. All of a sudden he says, "you aren't passionate about anything, you never talk about your feelings." To which I responded, "I am passionate about lots of things I just don't talk about my feelings on them all the time." He sits and ponders a moment and this grand revelation comes to him, "Oh I AM the girl in this relationship." I laughed because obviously I already knew this. He dug his head into the pillow and a few muffled groans erupted. I explained that I liked him that way, we are opposites and works out well. He began to make fun of himself in his girliest voice saying, "Honey why don't you talk about your feelings," etc. I tried not to laugh but I ended up making fun of him because I am a mean mean person. COUPLING, we have been watching a british comedy called Coupling and in one of the episodes Steve is explaining to his guy friends that when you get into a relationship and you live with a woman she gets to a point where she is constantly wanting to know your every move. If you leave the room they have to know where you are going. He says something along the lines of, "Its getting to the point that I can't go to the bloody loo without her saying, 'where are you going, where are you going, where are you going?' Its hilarious, well Justin is famous for that. He lives in a one bedroom apartment the living room is open to the kitchen and the dining so if I get up to leave there is a one in two guesses where I AM GOING. After all is said and done and he calms down about being "the girl," I get up to go to the kitchen and he says, "Where are you going?" I just busted out laughing, he didn't even realize right away. Poor thing to have me as a girlfriend.

Day 2 Done!

So with all the fatigue and the utter feeling that my body just wanted to melt into the ground and became part of the pavement, I pushed through and ran! It wasn't so hard once I got going. I need to download the podcast so that I don't have to pay attention to time so much, however time does go quickly when you're just paying attention to running 60 seconds and walking 90 seconds. I did much better and I am pumped all over gain and can't wait for Friday! Really wish I wasn't flat-footed though it kills my left foot so bad, its all over when I stop running but while running it sucks. Gonna have to do some research on that today. Dinner was super, my wonderful boyfriend who loves to cook made a fabulous concotion last night, it was some homemade casserole he made up. It probably wasn't the healthiest thing to eat but it was definitely better than eating out. I was proud he is so much better at cooking than I am, but I really don't care. I got to get him working again. He is cooking tonight also, I gave him a cookbook and he loves it. I found it in the bathroom this morning, guess I know what his reading material has been. I forgot my leftovers for lunch today which make me very sad and now I have to figure out what the heck I am gonna eat for lunch today. Hmph. Gonna try to bring myself to go to yoga today. I've done it off the DVD before but never in a classroom setting, its a bit intimidating. My doctor swears by it and tells me all the time that I should do it. Maybe it will help my back, its been in mucho pain the last few weeks, hoping it will get better the more I work out. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Today I will tackle the second day of the couch to 5K. I am not excited about it at all. I am so tired today and having a hard time feeling very motivated. Only hit snooze once this morning, but that is one more time than I usually hit it. And all I still want to do is sleep. I have been moving so all my free time is being taken by packing and heaving boxes into my mother's truck by myself for now. With all my fatigue and crankyness I WILL go and run, maybe it will cure the crankyness at least.
I am not so sore today but still feeling it from the other day. My calves are hurting as are the bottoms of my feet and my ankles. No pain no gain, is that what they say?
I was bad and ate two slices of pizza last night because Justin ordred pizza. It was there and it was free and I was hungry from moving crap.
Work has been nothing but chaos since I got in at 8am. First off the a/c wasn't working so no coffee for me, which I desparately needed. But I refuse to drink hot coffe when its hot. I have two fans buzzing at my desk which make it loud in here but I am getting used to the whir of the fan blades. The sound however combined with the heat just makes it easier to be sleepier.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Day 1 Done!

Well I did it. I wasn't sure I was gonna go through the whole way but I did. Go me! I walked briskly and felt inspired because they were actually playing good music at the gym. (In need of headphones that don't fall out of my ears when I run.) I was really pumped afterward, I felt like I had accomplished something and I didn't once feel like giving up. Being flat footed I deal with some pain that I would like to remedy so I've been researching on how to relieve it when you're running. My ankles hurt too, but I've been told those will strengthen. I've also decided to reward myself, if I succed I will be buying myself a brand new pair of running shoes meant for us flat footed folks that are actually really cute. I think that would be a nice treat. I am not too sore today . . . I stretched!

Also for dinner, this may only be for the open minded. I tried the Morning Star Spicy Black Bean Burgers and they were actually really good, added a little cheese and mustard and went bunless. Followed later by one of those individual-sized Haagen Dazs chocolate ice cream.

Taking a break today so I can help a friend move some stuff from my apt to hers. Back to it tomorrow. I fear how sore I will most likely be tomorrow. Eeek!

Monday, August 17, 2009

First Day to the 5K!

The challenge for this week should be easy enough. Today begins one of 3 days spent doing the following.

Brisk five-minute warmup walk.
Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for 20 minutes. Thats it!
Today I will probably follow it with Zumba which is dance aerobics, but probably only 30 min of that because I have not worked out in over 2 weeks.

Lets Get Naked

Not like that . . . I mean I am going to bare my soul here. EEK!

In the last post that I just posted, 3 min ago I mentioned that I could count the things I am happy about and the things I am unhappy about and the latter weighs a whole lot more. So let me be truthful here. Being the oldest and only girl there have been some expectations placed upon me. I am the first to have ever earned a college degree. I've had a job since I was 15 yrs old, never been in jail, never been pregnant, never done drugs. Don't mistake me, I drank alcohol before age 21, I have failed a class and have had and currently have a boyfriend so not some good two shoes over here just a responsible individual. I've been told I have a good head on my shoulders my whole life, can you imagine? Its not a bad thing but when you think about it, it does add some pressure and doesn't allow your psyche to allow for failure or irresponsibility. I am working on that. I just want to paint a picture of the type of person I am. I freak out over very small things and can be very negative. Also things I am working on.

Okay enough of all that. Back to getting naked. I am going to list the things I am happy about and the things I am unhappy about. This is going to be the first step in re-inventing myself. I think. Its part of the plan anyway.

Happy Things:
  • I at least have a job
  • I have a degree
  • I have a fabulous boyfriend
  • I have my family
  • Great friends

Unhappy Things:

  • I am miserable at my job
  • All my friends are moving on or moving away
  • I am overweight
  • Slowly developing various health problems
  • Have to move back home so I can pay student loans
  • Student loans
  • More debt
  • In a rut
  • Book isn't finished

See this is good I am not nearly as unhappy about things as I thought. Hmm thats good to know. Next I guess I should evaluate what I can change and work on that. Well I am continuously sending out resumes to other places so hopefully I can get a bite since some economists say there is about to be a turn around. Praise god! Not much I can do about friends getting married or friends moving away, except make new friends, keep in touch with the ones afar and treasure the ones I have near. We'll move on to overweight in a minute. There is nothing I can do about moving back home right now, I have debt I need to pay off which will happen because of the move and I have a job that doesn't pay a whole heck of a lot, which will hopefully change with the hopes of a new job. I am going to cure the rut by making time each week to go somewhere and work on the book. There we go!

Now to the weight loss plan!!!! I probably need to lose about 50 lbs. But I'm not gonna pay attention as much to that. I have a goal here and the goal is a 5K! On Thanksgiving there is a 5K race called a Turkey Trot. Now I have never done anything like this in my life. I played Basketball in middle school. I was on the B-team and only played one season, thats the most active I ever was in my life. So accomplishing something like a 5K would make me feel really good about myself. So traning . . . It was suggested to me to look into a training schedule called Couch to 5K. That is what I am doing. I am going to continue to try and make good eating choices which should be easy moving home where the fridge and pantry are filled with good for you food, which will prevent me from grabbing something on my way home. So say a prayer cross your fingers because in 9 weeks I should be able to run/jog 3 miles no sweat, well hopefully some sweat. By October 19, thats the plan! Wish me luck I am going to need it.

Updated Stuff

I originally started this blog for classroom discussion. It was by far the best class I have ever taken. Because of this class I analyze things processed through many different media outlets quite differently, and I love that.
I'm supposed to be a writer, at least I stake claim as such. Unfortunately I am unsure of how good I am anymore. I have been working on a book for well over two years, it will probably never be done and trust me its probably the most haunting thing ever. TIP: If you are working on a book don't tell anyone because then thats all they ever ask you about. "Is the book done?" "How is the book going." Or you will get every encouraging words from your dad or boyfriend, "You're never gonna finish," or "you should've been done a long time ago." I am sensitive about my writing too, its not like I don't know I should be working on it, its not like I don't realize I should be dedicating more time to it since it is after all my so-called passion. My boyfriend has this theory that I am scared or something. One thing to know about me and the boyfriend. If we were in high school we would so not be friends. He is Mr. Football player and I am Ms. Editor-in-chief of the yearbook. We seriously live on opposite planets. He has no clue about what I go through when I am trying to sit and write just like I don't have a clue how excited he gets when the Chicago Cubs win a game. Besides all that I have a great deal of faith that I will finish it this year and actually have another one that will soon to be in the works. Perhaps I shoudn't be planning a new venture when I haven't finished the original one but this one has to be done timely.
I graduated in December and to say the least I have been quite a slump. I have yet to get a job that I actually like which is really the source of this depression I am in. I don't like to admit that I am depressed but I'm not retarded. I can count on one hand the things I am happy about and I could probably fill two hands and both feet with the ones I am unhappy about. Thats fine however because it is all going to change. All of it.
Goals have been set in place and I am on a high, let see if I can keep this up. I plan to use this blog as a way to keep myself accountable to these goals and obviously as a writer . . . write.
I know no one reads this thing but you never know.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Pocket Emo, a parent must read.

So originally I created this blog as a requirement for class, but since that class has since caused me to analyze and take notice to things a bit more closely here is something I couldn't pass up the chance to write about.

A co-worker of mine has the distict pleasure of being a mother, I myself am not a mother and at the present moment have no desire to be so, especially when I see the things society puts parents up against. For instance my co-worker obtained a myspace page to kind of keep an eye on her son, not a crime I don't think . . . kids today need to have an eye kept on them. She discovered a new customization to her son's blog. It was a Pocket EMO. Now for those of you not familiar with the lingo, an EMO as defined by Uraban Dictionary is a genre of softcore punk music that integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17 year olds who don't smile, high pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar rifts with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarfs (even in the summer), ripped chucks with favorite bands' signature, black square rimmed glasses, and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5th of the face at an angle. Thats just to paint you an image, another definition that can be found on Urban Dictionary is: The difference between Emo and Goth; Emos hate themselves. Goths hate everyone. Emos want to kill themselves. Goths want to kill Everyone. Totally something you want your kids to aspire to right? Way far less scary that being part of the jocks or the nerds right?

Well lets feed the stupidity with a little accessory that these teens can use to demonstrate their angst on Its called the Pocket Emo, best described as a little Emo-looking kid that when you run your mouse across the screen he has a little speech bubble that says different things. ie. *sob* "My life is spiraling downward" You can also feed your Emo and in response he will say "Food won't stop the pain." It also says things like "stop bothering me." The ultimately most disturbing part of this whole thing is the icon titled 'RAZOR,' when clicked it displays a razor and when clicked it says multiple things as well.

Now I realize this was most likely designed to make fun of the whole Emo genre and what it is associated with. I realize for some teens and even children Emo is just a trend, a way to wear their hair and wear their clothes. . . a phase for most that will pass in time (hopefully). However when our younger MySpacers get a hold of this you have to wonder how society is helping to groom your children. Its difficult for parents to weed out what is going to be just a phase or what is going to be a long lasting mind-set.

Once again I am not a parent, however being the older sister of two younger brothers, who don't make good decisions, I have to say these phases are dangerous and wear on parents. My brother at the age of 15 or 16 decided he was going to be Goth. My extrmely handsome brother
was dressing in stupid wide-legged pants, band t-shirts for bands he knew nothing about, a long black leather trench coat and a silver ball chain necklace, oh and spiked hair. It began as a trend, a way to fit in when he started high school. The year after my other brother was a freshman, he who was extrmely shy and had a more difficult time making friends immeadiately fell into the same group of friends as his older brother. My mother viewed it a phase, much like her 80's hair metal days and my dad absolutely hated it. The phase unfortunately lasted all the way through high school and with it came to friends who viewed Goth as more than a fashion statement. It was a state mind, along with the loud screeching music came the ideas of drugs and rebellion.

I guess parents, keep an eye out your kids are exposed to so many things that they just happen to stumble upon. Keep up to date on trends and what they mean, its difficult but you have to do your homework.

This is a link to the creepy little emo guy.