Saturday, August 29, 2009
My monthly friend is almost here I can tell and I feel so sluggish and I most definitely DO NOT want to run today. But its a must. Today is the last day of Part II of C25K. Moving on up to the next level Monday. My appetite was non-existent yesterday. Even when Mom and I went to get CHEESE FRIES from Snuffers. If you know me, you know thats like a huge comfort food that I can't turn down, but I didn't eat as much as I normally do, in fact not much at all. This morning I had a PB and J sandwich but not becasue I was hungry, I just needed something to stay with and put in my stomach so I could take my medicine. I brought a pack 90 calorie rice cakes and a banana.
This could just be me, but I went shopping Friday for some clothes for the cruise. You know things I was missing in the wardrobe since I wear scrubs to work most of the time. Everything look good on me. I told my friend that I know I look the same. I mean I've lost 3 pounds at this point, nothing to write home about but its like confidence level just goes up and all of a sudden you look and the mirror and it "seems" like your hips are less wide and the belly flap is smaller and maybe just maybe you're shoulders are less football like. Who knows if anyone else notices but you think you do and thats good enough.
I leave for my cruise in a week and I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I WILL gain back what i've lost so far and that its going to be okay because I AM going to run on the ship. I have to at least do that. There is an outdoor track on the top of the boat, so if I don't I have no one to blame but myself. But thats not going to happen.
I was so close to buying me some orthotics for my shoes at Sports Authority yesterday, but they were $25 and I just spent $60 on clothes and couldn't bring myself to do it. In that $60 spent though I did get a new outfit to workout in, I look cute in it and it makes me feel like a real runner.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I was really bad already this morning and its only 7:30 a.m. I rode to work with a co-worker and we got to D town early so we stopped for breakfast at McDonalds. I hate McDonalds but you know what I got? A horrible Big Breakfast! It filled the tummy for sure I thought it was gonna make me sick because I am not used to eating that early but so far so good. And there is coffee involved. Bad bad Maria. I should drink more water today.
Thats really all . . . C25K Day 2 Part II today!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
For food today I've had a banana, an orange and 2 string cheeses oh and an iced coffee from McDonalds (that a co-worker surprised me with dang it not my fault but it was sooo good). Lunch will be some mexican rice I made last night and some refried beans. The breakfast, lunch and dinner of a poor mexican. Without tortillas its even poorer. I'm excited about it though. For dinner the boy is making me tacos, its Mexican Fiesta Day! The boy may really and actually be employed after tomorrow, he meets with HR. Please God oh please!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Today I will be back on track. I am repeating week 1 of the C25K this week because I feel I need to start over. Everything should be better this week since I have all my stuff moved home.
Side NOTE: Can I just say I love my family, all of them. However they're nuts, they are completely crazy. My mother who is my best friend is like the queen of crazy. Not toward me but the men in my family better watchout. So after spending the whole weekend at home with them, being at the boyfriends apt for just a few hours before passing out last night was like a vacation. He can drive me nuts sometimes too, but nothing like the brothers and dad and sometimes even mom.
Anyways since I am all moved home and I don't have a room to settle I have nothing to do. I mean little things but nothing major. Besides yell at the Cable company, that should be fun. So I should not falter in the running department this week. I'm still pretty proud of myself for doing it all 3 days last week I lost 2 lbs according to the scale. I don't really trust those things but I check anyway.
I don't even know what I am typing anymore I have taken so many breaks. So yea running today followed by hopefully some yoga. Not really sure about that. I know its good for your back but I am in some major pain today in my lower back and not sure if I can do some of the stretches. Who knows we'll see how I feel after running.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Items on the menu today include rice cakes, orange, yogurt, pb and j and string cheese. Don't know whats for dinner just yet.
Friday, August 21, 2009
P.S. Boyfriend made fabulous dinner last night! Taco Pie . . . he did so good. It might be a new favorite of mine. Yay!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Now on to why he is a girl. I'm a girl too by the way but he is way more cliche chick than I am. Case in point he makes dinner last night after agonizing over whether or not it would turn out okay. Which he put cheese in it how could it not turn out? I'm a firm believer that melted cheese on anything makes it better. So dinner turns out great. I tell him its good, I eat it quietly. Sure sign that its good right? Well he proceeds to boast, "Isn't this good." "It turned out so well, I'm so happy." I agreed and finished my meal. We proceed to watch the movie he rented, Ferris Buhler's Day Off, ever since John Hughes died he feels its his mission to expose me to every movie he ever made, fine and dandy with me. Now its bedtime, he doesn't go to bed at the same time I do but he comes and lays down with me and chats a bit til I am good and ready to sleep. He begins talking about his feelings on different topics, not intimate topics just movies, music and such. I nod and smile, nod and smile. All of a sudden he says, "you aren't passionate about anything, you never talk about your feelings." To which I responded, "I am passionate about lots of things I just don't talk about my feelings on them all the time." He sits and ponders a moment and this grand revelation comes to him, "Oh I AM the girl in this relationship." I laughed because obviously I already knew this. He dug his head into the pillow and a few muffled groans erupted. I explained that I liked him that way, we are opposites and works out well. He began to make fun of himself in his girliest voice saying, "Honey why don't you talk about your feelings," etc. I tried not to laugh but I ended up making fun of him because I am a mean mean person. COUPLING, we have been watching a british comedy called Coupling and in one of the episodes Steve is explaining to his guy friends that when you get into a relationship and you live with a woman she gets to a point where she is constantly wanting to know your every move. If you leave the room they have to know where you are going. He says something along the lines of, "Its getting to the point that I can't go to the bloody loo without her saying, 'where are you going, where are you going, where are you going?' Its hilarious, well Justin is famous for that. He lives in a one bedroom apartment the living room is open to the kitchen and the dining so if I get up to leave there is a one in two guesses where I AM GOING. After all is said and done and he calms down about being "the girl," I get up to go to the kitchen and he says, "Where are you going?" I just busted out laughing, he didn't even realize right away. Poor thing to have me as a girlfriend.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I am not so sore today but still feeling it from the other day. My calves are hurting as are the bottoms of my feet and my ankles. No pain no gain, is that what they say?
I was bad and ate two slices of pizza last night because Justin ordred pizza. It was there and it was free and I was hungry from moving crap.
Work has been nothing but chaos since I got in at 8am. First off the a/c wasn't working so no coffee for me, which I desparately needed. But I refuse to drink hot coffe when its hot. I have two fans buzzing at my desk which make it loud in here but I am getting used to the whir of the fan blades. The sound however combined with the heat just makes it easier to be sleepier.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Also for dinner, this may only be for the open minded. I tried the Morning Star Spicy Black Bean Burgers and they were actually really good, added a little cheese and mustard and went bunless. Followed later by one of those individual-sized Haagen Dazs chocolate ice cream.
Taking a break today so I can help a friend move some stuff from my apt to hers. Back to it tomorrow. I fear how sore I will most likely be tomorrow. Eeek!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Brisk five-minute warmup walk.
Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for 20 minutes. Thats it!
Today I will probably follow it with Zumba which is dance aerobics, but probably only 30 min of that because I have not worked out in over 2 weeks.
In the last post that I just posted, 3 min ago I mentioned that I could count the things I am happy about and the things I am unhappy about and the latter weighs a whole lot more. So let me be truthful here. Being the oldest and only girl there have been some expectations placed upon me. I am the first to have ever earned a college degree. I've had a job since I was 15 yrs old, never been in jail, never been pregnant, never done drugs. Don't mistake me, I drank alcohol before age 21, I have failed a class and have had and currently have a boyfriend so not some good two shoes over here just a responsible individual. I've been told I have a good head on my shoulders my whole life, can you imagine? Its not a bad thing but when you think about it, it does add some pressure and doesn't allow your psyche to allow for failure or irresponsibility. I am working on that. I just want to paint a picture of the type of person I am. I freak out over very small things and can be very negative. Also things I am working on.
Okay enough of all that. Back to getting naked. I am going to list the things I am happy about and the things I am unhappy about. This is going to be the first step in re-inventing myself. I think. Its part of the plan anyway.
- I at least have a job
- I have a degree
- I have a fabulous boyfriend
- I have my family
- Great friends
- I am miserable at my job
- All my friends are moving on or moving away
- I am overweight
- Slowly developing various health problems
- Have to move back home so I can pay student loans
- Student loans
- More debt
- In a rut
- Book isn't finished
See this is good I am not nearly as unhappy about things as I thought. Hmm thats good to know. Next I guess I should evaluate what I can change and work on that. Well I am continuously sending out resumes to other places so hopefully I can get a bite since some economists say there is about to be a turn around. Praise god! Not much I can do about friends getting married or friends moving away, except make new friends, keep in touch with the ones afar and treasure the ones I have near. We'll move on to overweight in a minute. There is nothing I can do about moving back home right now, I have debt I need to pay off which will happen because of the move and I have a job that doesn't pay a whole heck of a lot, which will hopefully change with the hopes of a new job. I am going to cure the rut by making time each week to go somewhere and work on the book. There we go!
Now to the weight loss plan!!!! I probably need to lose about 50 lbs. But I'm not gonna pay attention as much to that. I have a goal here and the goal is a 5K! On Thanksgiving there is a 5K race called a Turkey Trot. Now I have never done anything like this in my life. I played Basketball in middle school. I was on the B-team and only played one season, thats the most active I ever was in my life. So accomplishing something like a 5K would make me feel really good about myself. So traning . . . It was suggested to me to look into a training schedule called Couch to 5K. That is what I am doing. I am going to continue to try and make good eating choices which should be easy moving home where the fridge and pantry are filled with good for you food, which will prevent me from grabbing something on my way home. So say a prayer cross your fingers because in 9 weeks I should be able to run/jog 3 miles no sweat, well hopefully some sweat. By October 19, thats the plan! Wish me luck I am going to need it.
I'm supposed to be a writer, at least I stake claim as such. Unfortunately I am unsure of how good I am anymore. I have been working on a book for well over two years, it will probably never be done and trust me its probably the most haunting thing ever. TIP: If you are working on a book don't tell anyone because then thats all they ever ask you about. "Is the book done?" "How is the book going." Or you will get every encouraging words from your dad or boyfriend, "You're never gonna finish," or "you should've been done a long time ago." I am sensitive about my writing too, its not like I don't know I should be working on it, its not like I don't realize I should be dedicating more time to it since it is after all my so-called passion. My boyfriend has this theory that I am scared or something. One thing to know about me and the boyfriend. If we were in high school we would so not be friends. He is Mr. Football player and I am Ms. Editor-in-chief of the yearbook. We seriously live on opposite planets. He has no clue about what I go through when I am trying to sit and write just like I don't have a clue how excited he gets when the Chicago Cubs win a game. Besides all that I have a great deal of faith that I will finish it this year and actually have another one that will soon to be in the works. Perhaps I shoudn't be planning a new venture when I haven't finished the original one but this one has to be done timely.
I graduated in December and to say the least I have been quite a slump. I have yet to get a job that I actually like which is really the source of this depression I am in. I don't like to admit that I am depressed but I'm not retarded. I can count on one hand the things I am happy about and I could probably fill two hands and both feet with the ones I am unhappy about. Thats fine however because it is all going to change. All of it.
Goals have been set in place and I am on a high, let see if I can keep this up. I plan to use this blog as a way to keep myself accountable to these goals and obviously as a writer . . . write.
I know no one reads this thing but you never know.