Plans

You know all those familiar sayings, "Life is what happens while you're making plans." "God has a plan." "One door closes another one opens." The list goes on.

In recent days I have come not to hate those phrases quite as much as I used to. There was a point when those words were uttered I wanted to punch the speaker in the face. I wanted my plans to work out, I wanted to be in control of my life and it's destiny. Not that I was trying to take that out of God's hands or anything, but I always kind of thought he was ok with my plans, that they were good plans. Well every time I turn around God changes my plans. I am sure it is all for the best and that sometimes the direction you are pointed is better than the path you are on but dang it, it's hard to be patient.

I didn't get into the teaching program. There is no way of knowing why this happened, I studied very hard and honestly feel I could have studied any harder. I passed the test and I had the credentials. Literally 10 minutes prior to receiving this information I had a very good conversation with the director of our department. He gave good advice and made me feel more secure about my degree and where I could gear it in the hospital. He sees very genuine in wanting people to stay in Baylor and advancing and using the skills they have to do those things. He is very easy to talk to and made me feel confident in support regarding any opportunities that come my way. I really hope that this is the case because I am due for an opportunity.

I don't feel upset or sad regarding the happenings in the last month, with studying and it getting me seemingly no where. I have to respect the steps I take to get somewhere, they are all worth it.

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt." - Shakespeare

Perhaps my doubts got the better of me, no matter how I tried to subdue them maybe they were deep seeded in my brain. Or maybe it really was just God's plan. God's plan is better than my plan, so I suppose I need to stop taking the plans I make to seriously. I need to have the faith that everything will work out for the best in the end regardless.